1. |
Messy
03:44
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i mean things get messy
when you go back home
i been around long enough now
i probably should have known
at least i could have guessed
that you're not coming back
i guess i could have guessed
that you probably fell off track (but you came back from)
somewhere south of south of here
where the weather gets warmer faster
and the rain feels good on your skin
and where i don't act like such a bastard
i don't mean it,
you know i never meant it
but talking it out is hard
god its easier to scream it
scream it like
"hey, i, i never meant those things i said"
and "fuck you, i wish you were dead"
then later "ahhh ahhh i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that
its just what i say to hurt you, and you know i always want to"
yeah, i always want to.
so you go stay with your mom
you know, just for the night
cause i'm feeling a little vicious
and if you're with me i just might
tell you i love you
just so i can take it back
i know you never liked that
you never liked that
but give me a minute,
just a second to breathe
if i keep this up all night
it'll come as a relief
when you tell me to get up
pack my shit and get out
and i ask you quietly
what it is you're on about
and you say "hey, you, i'm not playing no more
i'm done with it, get the fuck up off the floor
you cant tell me you never saw this coming"
so i tell you i never saw this coming.
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2. |
Come True
03:56
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i got space to fill and time to break all the rules
i got days and days with nothing else but think of you
i got a big hole somewhere to sink into
but when its said and done its just a dream if it don't
come true
now the boulevard is packed
and moneys getting tight
but we still got a few dollars
we could still have a good night
i mean i got nowhere to be right now
not for the next couple days
and i sure could use the company
lately i cant seem to get away
from the static playing in my head
some sort of white noise lullabye
that sings me to sleep most nights
when i cant think of a good lie
to tell you to come over
but i i i cant call you anymore
it would still be too awkward right
i guess its not like it was
before
and i cant believe that its happening
some sort of sunsick melody
the piano wont talk back to me
so i think ill finally set it free
and right into the window
to play in shattered glass
and as it turns around to watch me
as i crumble in the past
and if i started rambling
forgive the words i scream
cause i know everything eventually will get better
but i honestly think this might
kill me
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3. |
Nervous
03:23
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you laugh when you get nervous
or when you're worn out from the day
and its not like you're trying to be a bitch
isn't that what you always say?
but i'm not sure that i buy that
when you get that fire in your eye
sure, you say it with a smile
sing in tune, "baby, please die"
wont you please just die?
and my friends say i'm so happy
and they've all seen me when i'm blue
when i'm shaking, crying, throwing a fit
at you
but now my memory gets foggy
was there a point i was trying to make?
it was probably something cryptic like
"mistakes at stake"
mistakes at stake
i'm a panoramic picture,
spread out for all to see
the holes in all my stories
the person i want to be
but i'm a make up artist candidate
my best sides always shown
but i'm so so fucking ugly
once you get me all alone
once i'm all alone
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4. |
Back Then
04:17
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i got my mind made up
im putting my foot down
im casting shadows on the water,
that same spot that you drowned
or almost, but didn't
i think you survived
but i haven't heard from you lately
so i may have just lied
so i watch the clocks
numbers swim through my head
erase your favorite memories
you held since you were a kid
you're best and brightest
from your brain back down to your soul
now not remembering kills you,
remember when that was the goal?
I watch you mouth the words
to the lyrics you love, but couldnt say
and it scares me endlessly to see
how catatonic you lay
i watch your chest rise and fall
like an ocean swell
and the flowers and cards she brings
all read the same "wishing you well"
as i watch a blurry scene
unfold around me
falling in and out of consciousness
tearing at I.V.s
i just want to go home
these strangers freaking me out
then i turn and see my mother
crying quietly and
crying quietly and
crying quietly and she tells me
"my baby boy
why do you always do these things to yourself?
At least think of me
if you don't care of your health
my little miracle
i've almost lost you, too many times
….
too many times…"
back then not remembering was always the goal.
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5. |
See You Soon
03:45
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i swear i saw your face somewhere when i couldn't make it out last night
but it could have been a memory that disappeared in morning light
its etched into my windowsill where i sit sometimes calling your name
but if i cant remember you then id guess you probably feel the same
and as i sit smoking trying my best to look for the moon
your dress rides up a bit as you slide into the back room
and you lay down…. ill see you soon
now im pacing empty sidewalks while i whistle this melody
when the pounding in my head joins in, its a symphony
and my heart tries its best to keep up, but it skips beats
and i lose time…. in the city streets
cause you are the knots that sleep in my back
that keep me up, and off track
so while i do my best to fade away
you can call me up, say "its okay"
darlin you're okay.
darlin' you're okay.
you're okay.
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James DelRipture Brooklyn, New York
Hi. This is my bio. I hope you enjoy it. <3
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