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Live From My Bedroom

by James DelRipture

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1.
Escape 04:05
I spent most days running mistake to mistake i waste most nights inside of her head and i talk to her friends but they never seem happy i talk to mine and they always feel the same so i wonder if the time would just slow down for a second so i could just step back and catch my breath i don't wanna believe that my intentions are anything drastic im just saying what i think and what i think is that i should not speak cause when the friends that you love become the friends that you hate god, i could really use an escape. so im coughing out chemicals as i step to her brownstone and my eyes are getting red but i tell you its just from the weed god i really don't wanna talk about my past or my family so as far as you know, i was born just today in your bed but my stories are vague, and they always tend to traaaaaii…. plus you know i cant afford the attention you pay. so i slip outside to clear my head, regain my composure by the time i come back back, thank god you're already asleep. and when the friends that you love become the friends that you hate god, i could really use an escape.
2.
red eyes scoping out the back of the car as you lay on the hood, as you feel the fall you don't know much, you better watch your back, kid you got a long time comin' just a little too late so you block off the doors and feign asphyxiate but you know, we're all on to that game as you tear and tear and tear... at your skin black-eye backdrop, a picture perfect scene too many feelings, half forgotten memories that still sting like the day we made them but your boyfriend brought you here so he should take you home if you have any problems, love, just let me know i'm a sucker, you know i'd take you anywhere we could drive and drive and drive... all damn night if we make it past the state line... we'll be alright and your eyes get heavy as you watch the scene of 300 miles unfolding all around me and you think we could drive forever but the gas tank sputters as it pulls to a stop and i cant remember what we were fighting about but you know you were always right and you could never ever ever... be wrong and i could never ever ever... be wrong and we could never ever ever... do no wrong. yeah right.
3.
Control 04:16
Girl it's not fair to blame me for the kind of love that you attract You share your heart so easy, but I hold it then you steal it back You can't expect me to heal you, I never promised to make you whole It's not my job to fix you, its not my job to mend your heart. It's not my job to fix you, its not my job to make you whole. It's not my job to fix you, I don't wanna lose control. The promises you kept, you never kept them quite enough Now I'm sittin on the front steps talking to my best friends about giving up You know I never liked those words, they always seemed far too drastic But I didn't think about you once last night, and god, that was fantastic. I don't think I can fix you. i don't think I can make you whole. God, I don't wanna fix you. I don't wanna lose control.
4.
Don't Go 03:48
tell me what do you do when you still get sad after you drink all night after you find a cheap flight to where you swore you would be for so many years after you knew you'd be dead, but you'd never make it through the night now you're just a bitter man, and suddenly its happening again. when you couldn't wait till the days got shorter but the nights they stayed long when you spent all your time in my arms singing the same songs when you kept rhythm with your heartbeat and I choked down the refrains and the memory of simpler times got lost along the way so were coughing out choruses cause i'm only honest when i sing and i wanna tell you the truth darling, just don't believe a thing i say don't go… just god, don't stay. and i think i might be manic, but ill probably never sleep again i could live off caffeine and nicotine like so many better men and i swear if i could just fit into whatever mold that you melted i think everything would get a little easier and the world would settle but a lot of pressure to lay on you, fuck we both know you ain't no saint you can sin as well as the rest of them, and love its getting late so you should probably go before i say something that you'd regret don't worry, ill call you tomorrow if i don't forget and were coughing out choruses cause i'm only honest when i sing and i wanna tell you the truth, darling, just don't believe a thing i say don't go… just god don't stay.
5.
Bad Dreams 02:29
i had a dream where i did some horrid things and i woke up gouging my eyes i just couldn't believe the shit you said to me i still think i was justified but the blood on my hands turned to sweat by the morning when i lit up with the sky hopefully i can shake this feeling i mean i don't see why why you still do what you do. and my left side brain says i should go away i mean, just for like a couple days give everyone time to settle down "boy,you cause quite a fray" and I didn't mean to do it, that much is true but it still happened after all when you trade in affection for affliction you really start to see how far we fall and girl it makes me a little uncomfortable the way you still smell like home if i walked on eggshells for a little while would you sleep inside my collarbone? and wake up in the morning ready to fight the day swinging for 13 rounds straight or could i pretend to sleep for a few more hours and just listen to your heart break and break and break and break and break
6.
Psalm Verses 05:21
i found a silhouette on the sidewalk that looked just like you it was on the corner of 12th and second avenue and i just let my heart skip and i tried to count the freckles but the sun was going down so instead I snapped a picture it'll do for now until I get the nerve to call you but my voice is still too shaky and my throat is closing up so i text you psalm verses instead of what I think plus you know i don't believe in that shit but the spinning's never slowing and it starts to make me sick and i really do believe that throughout all of this i'm still just as much of an asshole i cant believe,can't believe you at all but darling i'll never leave you or ever let you fall I heard a silly little voice in the back of my head telling me that i've been either crazy or dead for i don't know, like 6 or 7 months but i could always watch my chest rise and fall like the tide and it really doesn't matter if i just stay inside cause the rain it only makes you sick so i curl up like a hermit with a coffee in bed "you push every good thing away" isn't that what you said and it still rings in my ears so i'm reaching out for something that i know i'll never grab but at least the act of stretching makes me feel less sad plus i've always heard cardio is good for you and i cant believe, cant believe you at all but darling ill never leave, or ever let you fall you know it wont be that bad you know that you'll be fine when you come back from working things out in the town that you were raised in and spending all your thoughts on things you cant erase and try as you might, girl, you always try so hard, oh no you know it wont be that bad
7.
you are the gold beneath the ground you are the undisclosed location where my body was found you are just the blur i see the discrepancy between my vision and me you are the knots that live in my back you are my heart attack and i can feel you fucking with the beat the one inside my chest, kick, snare, repeat you are the police at the door while i'm frantically screaming "she doesn't live here anymore" you are my shepard, you are my lord you lead me to bed each night, you know, until i get bored you are the lyrics i cant sing the pawn shop wedding ring you are the sunshine sneaking through the heat of the moment, words like i and hate and you you are the window i cant break you are my favorite mistake you know, the one i always make you are the unavoidable call the lust i chase before the fall

about

these are songs. you can't prove that they're not.

okay the last one might not be.

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released November 2, 2013

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James DelRipture Brooklyn, New York

Hi. This is my bio. I hope you enjoy it. <3

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